


My Youth is on Fire

by smiley_seulgi



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-11 11:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smiley_seulgi/pseuds/smiley_seulgi
Summary: A summer fling blossoms between Jennie and Jisoo, two college students, once they discover they both frequent the same kinds of parties.But as their summer break comes to an end, Jennie disappears, leaving Jisoo to realize that she has slowly fallen in love with the younger girl. How could the girl who made her feel as if her youth was on fire leave without a trace?Just where has Jennie gone off to, and will the pair ever see each other again?Inspired by the lyrics of Forever Young.





	1. Like The Flames That Burn Without A Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! 
> 
> I know it’s been literally a decade since I’ve updated anything, but I’m on winter break for the holidays so I thought I’d try and get a few things out before Christmas and New Years went by. I had to stop updating and writing for a couple months because school was starting to wind down and it was crunch time, ahhaa. Hope you guys understand!
> 
> If you guys follow me on Twitter, you might’ve seen how I have around six different AU ideas based off of Blackpink’s Forever Young. This is one of them! I’ve been meaning to write for Jensoo and my other ships more often, so here’s my first official Jensoo ongoing - one I’ve been keeping in my drafts for a bit.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy, and happy holidays!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Note:
> 
> *No outright mature scenes*
> 
> *Implications of mature scenes and drinking, etc.*

 

 

Summer burns bright in Jisoo’s eyes. Twin fires glow from her pitch black pupils as she watches Jennie twirling up a storm on the dance floor. The shimmer of the other girl’s form fitting black dress reflected in her heated gaze, back and forth and left to right.

Parties have never necessarily been Jisoo’s idea of a good time. Especially parties hosted in extravagantly laid out houses such as the one she was attending now. But after meeting Jennie, she’s more than grateful Lisa convinced her to stop watching reruns of her favorite movies alone in her apartment and let loose for once.

The sun was just beginning to set, lingering stubbornly above the smog-stained skyline. Beams of fleeting orange, yellow, and pink light dance across the sky. They illuminate the puffy white clouds filling the air with their bursts of color, nearly in perfect sync with the strobe lights of the outdoor patio.

Park Chaeyoung’s house is set aglow in the wash of the sun, its modern white exterior taking on the hints of the vibrant color painted across the sky. Jisoo leans against the railing of the outdoor balcony. She’s nursing a drink by herself and watching the jovial crowds of people conversing and dancing and eating around her.

She tries in vain to pry her eyes away from the brunette currently tearing up the dance floor by pretending to take interest in the other amusements the party had to offer. But even a perfect summer sunset can only draw away one’s attention for so long, so Jisoo turned to people watching, picking apart the groups forming across the outdoor patio.

She found herself engrossed in watching a pack of drunk fraternity brothers making fools out of themselves trying to ask girls out on dates a few feet away from her. Finding herself annoyed with them, Jisoo then turned her attention back to the ever transitioning colors of the sky. She’d do anything to ignore the bombshell brunette beauty making eyes at her from the dance floor, even if it meant deciding whether or not one cloud looked like Snoopy the dog for another half hour.

Truthfully, it’s all Lisa’s fault. Her best friend, a tall, supermodel esque girl with dark brown hair, had introduced Jisoo to Jennie the moment she dragged them through the threshold of Chaeyoung’s house. A knowing look glinted in the Thai girl’s eyes when she practically pranced away afterwards, shooting Jisoo a wink before melting into the crowd on the dancefloor.

Unfortunately for Jisoo, Jennie was called away by a group of girls just as she was about to ask Jennie if she wanted a drink. And now, here she was. Alone on some rooftop mansion party with a drink sweating in her hand and her mind foggy not only from humidity, but from the way she knew Jennie was looking at her in between bits and pieces of song.

The moment wasn’t right for her to approach Jennie quite yet. It was all too soon and Jisoo hadn’t even finished her first drink, let alone _talked_ to Lisa about why she’d dragged the two of them together like that. Jisoo quickly decided that she needed more alcohol before she made any decisions about what to do.

Downing the last of her Mai Tai, Jisoo ambled her way towards the bar for a refill, edging past a crowd of extravagantly dressed youths. Faces fresh in their prime greeted her wherever she looked, attractiveness practically oozed from the floorboards. Everyone who was in attendance were wealthy, Jisoo had no doubts about that.

There were the usual cliques she’d recognized right off the bat. Another group of fraternity boys and their sorority girlfriends were playing a game of volleyball in the pool in their underwear. Fashion forward art majors huddled together with a more secluded corner of the patio, talking quietly amongst themselves as they nursed their drinks.

Jisoo chuckled to herself when she caught them subtly checking to make sure their outfits were still as perfect as they had been when they’d arrived. Though Jisoo couldn’t really say much about wealth. She was somewhat well off, too, with her great grandmother having left her a hefty inheritance that allowed the twenty year old more than enough to live on by herself.

Yet regardless of how much prosperity she had accumulated, Jisoo never allowed her newfound status to get to her head. She was a smart, practical young woman working towards achieving her Bachelor’s in Business Analytics with a minor in Accounting. She had one year of schooling left after this upcoming semester before she earned her degree.

Her major was part of the reason why she had ensured to keep in mind all she’d learned throughout college as she went through the process of obtaining her inheritance. Once the college junior had squared away a better apartment to live in, a reliable car, an updated wardrobe, and paid off her student loans in full, she remained dead set on not spending any more than absolutely necessary.

Everything she needed had been taken care of already, and modestly so on top of that. What more could she possibly need? Perhaps it was this stingy attitude she’d adopted that made her turn even more heads than usual when she walked by. She wasn’t one to blow money on lavish designer goods, unlike many of those who surrounded her.

In fact, most of the expensive things she owned had come from her great grandmother before her passing in the form of birthday or Christmas gifts. Louis Vuitton purses, a pair of Louboutin heels, solid gold rings, diamond earrings. You name it, Jisoo’s great grandmother had given it to Jisoo, her favorite great granddaughter.

Most of the time, Jisoo’s money was spent either on tuition fees or her growing collection of books. The shelves of her apartment were lined any sort of volume she could get her hands on. Fiction, non-fiction, a handful of biographies, even a few sci-fi novels. Reading, other than watching movies and working on homework, was one of her favorite pastimes.

But despite Jisoo’s tendency to squirrel away all her money into her savings account, Lisa always managed to make Jisoo break this rule once in a blue moon. The Thai girl would practically beg on her hands and knees for Jisoo to accompany her on shopping excursions to freshen up her wardrobe.

In fact, Lisa was quite the opposite to Jisoo’s stance on money. Lisa’s wealth stemmed from her mother and father’s generous allowances, of which she had an abundance of and spent freely. More often than not, Jisoo would have to intervene with the younger girl’s spending habits, even setting a monthly limit to how much her friend could spend at one time.

“Why do I need _that_ Gucci backpack when I already have _this_ one?” She remembers asking Lisa one day during one of their shopping excursions. The younger girl was prancing about one of the luxury brand outlets the younger girl liked to frequent, gaining odd looks from the employees around them. Gesturing to the dual toned GG Supreme bag Lisa had slung across her shoulders, Jisoo flicked her eyebrows up in silent questioning.

“Because then we’ll _match_ , unnie!” Lisa had squealed from the other side of the room, holding up the black and white set. Jisoo only rolled her eyes, waiting for the Thai girl to make up her mind about which one to purchase.

As if summoned merely by Jisoo’s thoughts, the Thai girl popped up next to her as she finally weaved her way out of the crowd and made herself comfortable on one of the chairs lined up by the outdoor bar.

“Are you having fun yet?” Lisa asked, her voice lilting in a way that could only mean she had been drinking. She had leaned in close to speak into her ear, and Jisoo could smell a hint of tequila as the words rolled off of her tongue. The older girl could hear her grin even though she didn’t turn to look at her.

“I guess,” Jisoo replied evenly, pulling a stool up to the counter of the bar. “How’d you even get us in here, Lisa? I mean, I’ve only ever _heard_ of the infamous Park Chaeyoung and her rooftop parties. I thought they were myth.”

There was no hiding how impressed Jisoo was with the way tonight’s events were unfolding. Everywhere she looked there was a spectacle to behold. From the mountains of food adorning the outdoor buffet table to a small live band covering well-known songs in one of the giant rooms downstairs.

“Oh, you know,” Lisa shrugged nonchalantly. “Let’s just say I know our host _quite_ well.” Jisoo’s face scrunched up in mock disgust, but the Thai girl merely winked and looked away to survey the party. In that split second, Jisoo saw it. She snorted and pointed at Lisa’s throat with her index finger.

“You know, you’ve got a lipstick stain on the side of your neck, Lisa-yah.” A blush crept up her best friend’s confident expression and she watched as the Thai girl smacked a hand over the mark. “I-um...Chaeyoung was just showing me around her room. I mean - house! Her house,” Lisa babbled, clearly flustered at the mention of the party’s host.

Jisoo chuckled at the younger girl’s nervous reaction. Despite the chic, sleek front Lisa liked to play up, she truly was a sweetheart who got flustered at even the smallest of things. “Maybe she should show me around sometime, too, eh?” Jisoo teased her, nudging Lisa with her elbow. The Thai girl laughed humorlessly and sheepishly shifted her gaze away.

Jisoo, having had enough of the teasing, slid her glass across to the bartender and mouthed the words _Mai Tai, please_ to him. Then, she turned her attention back to her best friend. “So, what’s this Jennie girl’s story, huh?” She asked as Lisa settled herself on the stool to her left. “Why’d you introduce the two of us then run away like some kind of gremlin?”

All embarrassment long forgotten, the Thai girl was smirking triumphantly once more as she ordered herself a shot of tequila. “I thought you’d be interested in her, unnie,” she quipped, clearly pleased with herself. She downed her shot in an instant and greedily sucked at the lime wedge plucked from the side of the glass. Jisoo shrugged, attempting to remain unruffled by the comment. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. If anything, you’re the one who has explaining to do.”

Truthfully, Jisoo had been fighting the urge glance over her shoulder where she knew the girl in question was lurking. However, she didn’t want to indulge in her desire just quite yet. Jisoo was a fan of playing hard to get, taking on the push and pull of attraction thrilled her more than merely giving in to every little whim she felt tugging at her heart.

Lisa rolled her eyes, brushing her long locks of dark hair over exposed shoulders. “Whatever you say, unnie,” she laughed, clearly not believing a word Jisoo had said. “For your information, she’s been looking at you like she wants to eat you up ever since we sat down.” Jisoo nodded her head ever so slightly, thanking the bartender when he set her Mai Tai on the countertop in front of her.

He was devilishly handsome, as were most of the people working at this party. The chefs supplying the food in the kitchen, the waiters and waitresses walking around with trays of champagne, even the live band members. Jisoo briefly wondered if attractiveness played a major part in Chaeyoung’s hiring process, not that she was complaining.

Her eyes wandered over to the numerous wait staff easing their way around with platters of appetizers and tall flute glasses. Sure enough, each and every single one of them had that same model-esque look. Just another perk of being rich, Jisoo thought to herself, _You get to be picky._

“I know she has been,” Jisoo replied matter-of-factly, letting the liquor flow down her throat. Ever since she’d turned towards the bar, she had felt Jennie’s searing gaze trained at the back of her head. Lisa scoffed again, and the sound tugs a smile from Jisoo’s lips.

“You two are _perfect_ for each other,” Lisa says, a hint of sarcasm lacing her tone. She lifts a hand to order another shot while Jisoo rolls her eyes. “Tell me about her if we’re so perfect for each other, then,” she requests with a laugh, turning to face Lisa.

In her peripheral, she tries make out the gleam of Jennie’s dress beneath the strobe lights of the dance floor. She crosses her legs one over the other, ensuring that her creamy thighs were exposed for all to worship. The waiter gracefully refilled Lisa’s shot and the girl quickly downed it. Jisoo watched her, waiting for a reply.

As Lisa set down the empty glass on the countertop, her eyes shifted from meeting Jisoo’s to somewhere just over the older girl’s shoulder. The Thai girl’s face exploded with another one of her trademark grins, and she wordlessly began to stand from her seat.

“Why don’t you talk to her yourself and find out, hm?” she winked. With that, Lisa quickly fished a tip from her clutch and left Jisoo sitting alone at the bar, confused at the younger girl’s rush. She turned around in her chair to face the throng of moving bodies, twisting and sashaying to a song she didn’t recognize.

As her eyes lingered over the crowd, searching for that sparkling black dress, Jisoo noticed a figure making their way towards the empty seat beside her. There came the luxurious scent of expensive perfume, and a flick of dark brown hair, but Jisoo didn’t dare look yet. Taking another sip from her icy cool glass, Jisoo was grateful she had swallowed before she glanced over at her newfound companion.

“Your friend makes quite the speedy exit, doesn’t she?” Jennie teased, nodding her head in the direction Lisa had taken off in. Feeling her throat tighten at the other girl’s close proximity, Jisoo merely nodded her head. She didn’t trust her voice to carry over the sound of the music.

“Jennie Kim,” she introduced herself. Jisoo regards the girl’s outstretched hand with a hint of confusion, but she takes it nonetheless. “Kim Jisoo...we met earlier,” Jisoo deadpans as they shake hands. Jennie breaks out into a wide grin, taking their hands and folding them over into her lap.

“I know,” Jennie replies simply, smirking when Jisoo realizes just how smooth she is. Her eyes linger on Jisoo’s parted lips, studying the rouge lipstick staining her mouth. “I _never_ forget a pretty face, and you, Miss Jisoo, have got to be one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen,” Jennie murmured, a coy expression spreading across her elfish features.

Never before had someone been so... _forward_ with Jisoo.

It completely knocked her guard down. All the lines Jisoo typically used on girls at parties or bars were thrown out of her head in an instant. “Can I, um,” Jisoo trailed off, racking her brain with what to say next. She felt the pad of Jennie’s thumb moving slowly over the top of her hand, drawing out circles over her skin.

Feeling the heat of a blush crossing her cheeks, Jisoo swallowed hard. It wasn’t usually _her_ having trouble speaking, but rather the girl she was pursuing at the moment. Yet there was something about Jennie that caused all of Jisoo’s social butterfly skills to flutter away. The sensation left her leaving her feeling somewhat exposed, as if they were playing a game of cards and they both knew Jennie held all of the winning aces.

The gentleness of the younger girl’s gesture caused the hairs on the back of Jisoo’s neck to stand straight up, a kind of electric shock coursing through her veins. Neither one of them had broken eye contact yet, each studying the other as the sun finally dipped beneath the skyline and the patio lights flared up into a warm orange hue.

 “Can I get you a drink? What’s your poison, Jennie?” Jisoo asked, trying to diffuse the tension between them. She took another sip of her drink while Jennie smiled at her. “Guess.” A challenge. Jisoo loved challenges, even if she wasn’t particularly good at them.

Momentarily, the older girl forgot the awkwardness she’d been feeling and tried to think. She swirled her drink around in her free hand, pretending to mull over her thoughts while she checked Jennie out further. “Is it wine? Pinot Noir, maybe?” Jennie shook her head, making a cute, scrunched up face at the suggestion. She playfully tapped her index finger against the back of Jisoo’s hand, signaling her to keep going.

“Rum and coke?” Jisoo asked again. Thanks to her practically nonexistent nightlife, she was quickly running out of alcoholic beverages she could name off the top of her head. Another negative. Jennie was shaking her head, though the corner of her lips were turning up into a gentle smile. “Margarita...?” Jennie broke out into a small smile, giggling at Jisoo’s failed attempts to peg her drink order. Jisoo joined her, watching and feeling the way the other girl’s fingers flexed against hers as they laughed.

“I’ll just have whatever you’re having, Jisoo,” Jennie replied, flicking her gaze down to Jisoo’s half empty glass, then back up again to rest at Jisoo’s lips. “I’m a fan of all flavors, if I’m being honest.” There was something in the tone of Jennie’s voice, the look in her eyes, the gentle ease of her smile, that made Jisoo feel a burst of energy course through her veins.

Raising her free hand, Jisoo waved the bartender over and ordered her and Jennie another Mai Tai. As yet another handsome employee began mixing the drink with a practiced flourish, Jisoo began wondering to herself why she felt more vulnerable holding this girl’s hand than if she were to be standing naked in front of a stranger.

While Jisoo mentally went through each conversation starter she’s accumulated throughout years of socializing to try and further the conversation, they receive their drinks. She watches as Jennie downs hers quickly, as if it were a shot rather than an elegantly mixed drink. Even more surprised than before, Jisoo’s mouth drops open ever so slightly, watching the curve of Jennie’s neck as the younger girl tips her glass all the way back.

“So,” Jennie says, “you wanna get out of here?” Her eyes dance in the moonlight like a pair of stars. She places her glass down carefully on the bar and smiles innocently up at Jisoo, but the older girl knows all too well what this phrase means. She’s heard her fair share of one night stand stories from Lisa to last her a lifetime of secondhand embarrassment.

She recalls one particular story when Lisa had gotten herself locked up in some girl’s closet for nearly an hour and a half after the girl’s mother had barged in for a surprise visit. But there was something about Jennie that made Jisoo want to try, that urged her to let herself go.

Making up her mind on the matter, Jisoo begins to finish off the rest of her own Mai Tai at a slower, more calculated pace than Jennie’s. “My place is twelve minutes away from here,” Jisoo offers after a few sips, trying not to let the desperation bleed out into her voice.

She was still reeling from the abrupt turn of events, mind trying to catch up with the flirting and the intimidating confidence of the girl before her and the leaping feeling of her heart. Jennie leaned back in her chair, leisurely resting an elbow on the bar while Jisoo finished off the drink. The younger girl regards her for another moment before slowly dipping her head in agreement. Jisoo’s place it is.

Jisoo places a tip underneath the rim of her glass and Jennie stands from the bar. “Lead the way,” the younger woman murmurs, eyes trailing up and down Jisoo’s figure. Her eyes glitter like a kaleidoscope of want, tinted with the rosy reds and soft blues of the strobelights. It made Jisoo’s heart skip a beat, then two.

Jisoo could see herself reflected in them for a breathless moment, and she knows she has the same look as Jennie does. Acutely aware of her need for the other girl’s touch, Jisoo decides to toss out any inhibitions she has and go with the flow. Without a second thought, Jisoo grabs Jennie’s hand and starts for the stairwell, wordlessly whisking them away from the party.

When they finally manage to flag down a cab, Jennie presses up against her in the backseat. Her lips ghost against the column of Jisoo’s throat and her teasing fingers threaten to dip just below the hem of Jisoo’s skirt. Distracted, Jisoo barely managed to stammer out her address to the driver, trying to keep herself and Jennie in check.

But one drag of Jennie’s fingernails down her inner thigh sent her resolve toppling over the edge. Once the cab driver’s attention has drawn back to the road, Jisoo turns her head and promptly kisses the younger girl, effectively halting her advances. The hand that had lingered over her thigh reached up and tangled itself in her hair, drawing her even closer than before.

For a moment or two, Jisoo lost herself in Jennie’s kiss. She reveled in the softness of Jennie’s cheek beneath her fingertips, the plush of her lips moving against her own, and the sensation of her tongue swiping against the corner of her mouth. Just as she was about to surrender all concern for the cab driver, a speed bump effectively brought her back to her senses.

She pulled away, panting slightly and holding Jennie back with a hand pressing against her shoulder. “Seatbelt?” Jisoo questioned innocently, heart still pounding out of her ribcage. The way Jennie was looking at her, eyes dark and hooded, was making it hard for her to resist the urge to tilt her head up and kiss her again.

As if thinking the same thing, Jennie slowly leaned in again, but this time only to press her lips against Jisoo’s cheek. Gently, she untangled her fingers from Jisoo’s hair and just as she was about to withdraw to buckle herself in, she paused to cup Jisoo’s cheek. The cab turned onto the crowded street of a shopping district, throwing beams of neon lights through the windows.

“You’re a real angel, aren’t you?” Jennie mumbled, eyes searching for something in Jisoo’s. Confused and fighting off tipsiness, Jisoo could only blink up at the younger girl, struggling to understand what she meant. But before she could slur another string of words together, Jennie seemed like she found what she was looking for.

The younger girl leaned back down and gave her one last kiss, unlike the one they’d shared before. This one was sweet and slow, with Jennie’s hands curled against her chest as if to ensure Jisoo wasn’t going anywhere. A lover’s kiss, Jisoo thought to herself, caressing the small of Jennie’s back. Not a one night stand kind of kiss.

When they parted again, Jennie’s thumb stroking a small path down her cheek. The younger girl’s eyes glittered with the same indecipherable look as before and there was a smudge of Jisoo’s lipstick on the corner of her mouth.

Without a second thought, Jisoo reached out her hand and gingerly wiped it away with the pad of her thumb. “You _are_ an angel,” Jennie giggled at her, turning away to buckle herself in. The moment broken, Jisoo could only blush and look out the window.

She was glad she did, because once the click of Jennie’s seatbelt sounded, a hand intertwined in her own. Not even the pitch black of night could’ve hidden Jisoo’s giddy smile.

 

 

 


	2. I Hope You Kiss Me Like It's Our Last

 

 

The morning after, Jisoo is woken only by the sound of incessant knocking at her apartment door. Feeling a bit delirious, she could barely register anything other than the fact there was a raging maniac at her door. But when she reached a hand out, Jennie was nowhere to be found.

The space on the other side of her bed had long grown cold, if her muscles hadn’t still radiated with a satisfying soreness, Jisoo could’ve accepted last night as just a long fever dream. As her body slowly woke up, Jisoo caught a hint of the younger woman’s perfume. A dark and alluring fragrance, staining the very sheets surrounding her.

Jisoo nearly giggled. No doubt, she could’ve spent the entire morning drifting back to sleep, reveling in the comforting scent, but the knocking successfully jolted her out of her peaceful state.

“Aish!”

The girl threw the covers off and stumbled into her bathroom. Her hand swiped at the light switch, blinding herself silly. Grimacing, she flicked the switch off again and in the dark, she tugged on a terry cloth bathrobe to hide her naked figure. Once she’d secured the flimsy belt around her waist, Jisoo stalked towards the front door, a furious scowl on her face.

It wasn’t just her early morning caller that was making her so crabby in the morning. Jennie’s absence was playing somewhat of a role in her mood, as well. Deep down, Jisoo knew she was being somewhat irrational. It was normal, _expected_ , even, for someone to wake up alone from a one night stand.

It was the culture of college kids these days, and even adults went through the same thing, but even this fact didn’t make it hurt any less. She’d been wrong to think Jennie was any different from everyone else, but Jisoo wished she hadn’t been. Their kiss in the taxi replayed in her mind, the tenderness of it all, the way Jennie held her hand as she led her up to her apartment complex.

It was all so, _different_.

Jisoo sighed.

Or so she’d _thought_.

Despite her initial disappointment in the younger girl, Jisoo understood why Jennie left. They’d barely spoken about anything of substance the night before. One what grounds would Jennie have wanted to stay in the first place? What, were they going to do, fall in love with each other over breakfast like they did in the movies?

Not that Jisoo would’ve _minded_ a few clichés here and there, of course. She _was_ a fan of fiction, after all. But life isn’t just some fantasy conjured up by authors or directors who wished there was more to everything than just the viscous cycle of life and death. Or was it? Jisoo debates all of this in her head as she pads her way up to the door, answering it bleary eyed and half of her face covered with her hand.

“Yes?” She hisses, wincing at the bright beams of sunlight. Was the entirety of Seoul brighter than the sun itself, or was it just her hangover? Lisa sidestepped her way into Jisoo’s apartment, her trademark grin plastered across her babyish face.

“Well, now,” she cooed, easily dodging the blind punch Jisoo throws her way.

“Jesus, that was close. Good morning to you too, sunshine!” Lisa laughed, closing the door behind her. “Morning,” Jisoo mumbles, moving away from the foyer.

Lisa followed the older girl further into the apartment as Jisoo shuffled her way into the kitchen. “Or should I say, _afternoon_? It’s nearly two o’clock, you know. You had me worried _sick_ when you weren’t responding to my texts. I was looking for you for hours last night at the party, Chaeyoung even helped get a little search party going.”

 _Oh shit_.

Jisoo ran a hand through her hair, trying to dispel her guilt. She hadn’t even remembered to plug in her phone last night, let alone the promise to send Lisa a text she was headed back to her apartment. Hazily, she recalled throwing the device onto her bed side table before Jennie had pushed her against the mattress, unzipping the back of her dress with deft fingers.

“I’m sorry, Lisa-yah,” Jisoo murmured, going through the motions of fixing herself a cup of coffee. The more she remained upright, the more acutely aware she was of the soreness of her muscles. As she poured the coffee grinds into the coffee maker’s filter, she could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on.

“I didn’t mean to forget to text, but it just kind of...happened?” She offered, tone apologetic. She punched the brew button on the coffee maker and moved to open the medicine cabinet, rummaging around for a bottle of Tylenol. Lisa settled down on one of the tall kitchen stools, watching her with wide eyes.

“You want some hot chocolate?” Jisoo offered weakly, pointing to the kettle on the stove. “Alright,” Lisa agreed quickly, never one to turn down the sweet beverage. Jisoo filled it up with a cup’s worth of water and set it on the stove to boil, then leaned against the counter, rubbing at her temples. She hoped that the girl’s favorite beverage would be enough to sidetrack the younger girl for at least a minute or two.

But even the promise of hot chocolate wasn’t enough to distract Lisa. “But really, what even _happened_ to you last night?” The Thai girl asked, rising from her seat. “You don’t even _like_ drinking most of the time, let alone having enough to get a hangover the next day.” She picked out her favorite mug from Jisoo’s cupboards and observed her best friend with the eyes of a hawk.

“You’ve never _once_ forgotten to let me know if you’re leaving a party early, either,” Lisa frowned, the concerned look etching wrinkles across her features. Approaching Jisoo, she stretched out her hand to lift away the collar of Jisoo’s bathrobe up with an index finger. As quickly as she’d reached out, her hand flew away.

“Holy _shit,_ Jisoo! You look like you just got _mauled_!” Lisa yelped, eyes wide with shock. “I was just giving Jennie a tour of the place,” Jisoo rolls her eyes, using Lisa’s quote from last night to her advantage. Lisa’s eyebrows nearly reach the ceiling and the pair snicker to themselves, easing back into a comfortably silence.

The kettle whistles a few moments later, cueing Lisa to stir in her packet of cocoa mix. “Now that _that’s_ settled, you want any breakfast?” Jisoo asked, breaking out a pan from another cupboard while the coffee brewed. The Thai girl shrugged her shoulders and set her Chanel backpack on the kitchen table. She slipped off her Gucci loafers and set them by the wall, making herself comfortable.

“I _guess_ I can forgive you for last night...depending on today’s menu. What’ll it be, Master Chef Jisoo?” Lisa quipped, prancing back into the kitchen with a grin. The coffee maker pinged, signaling that the coffee was ready for drinking. Lisa filled a mugful for Jisoo, one splash of creamer and one spoonful of brown sugar, while Jisoo tied an apron on.

“How about some chocolate chip pancakes and bacon?” Jisoo asked, opening her fridge. With one hand, she pawed through her food, searching for the right ingredients. “I could use a little bit of a pick-me-up after last night.” At the mention of the word chocolate, Lisa’s eyes lit up like a pair of Christmas tree lights.

“Yeah, yeah! Lemme help!” She exclaimed, brushing Jisoo aside to rummage around in the fridge herself. Jisoo laughed, shaking her head at her friend’s antics. Leave it to Lisa to brighten her mood with her mere presence, she thought to herself, allowing Lisa to have her way with the fridge.

“You know, there’s another party tonight...at Chaeng’s place,” Lisa informs after they’ve finished cooking and were eating at the kitchen counter. The Thai girl’s demeanor changed into one of timidness, as if she were sharing a secret with Jisoo. “That’s another reason why I wanted to come over and check up on you. I was wondering if you want to come with me?”

Sheepishly, Lisa plays around with a slice of bacon. “Partying alone is always a little…,” she makes a vague gesture with her hands. Jisoo nods along, helping Lisa get on with what she was saying. “I know it’s probably too soon and you might not feel like it, especially after last night, but I thought I’d still bring it up. I guess. Don’t worry if you don’t want to go, I’ll completely understand.”

Jisoo freezes for a millisecond, fork and pancake hanging in the air, before she readjusts herself to mask her surprise. Another party? She bit her lip. Even though Jennie hadn’t left her number or any sort of indication that she’d want to see Jisoo again, the hopeless romantic in her had flooded her with hope. There was a chance, no matter how slim, that Jennie could be at that party.

Although it’s a shot in the dark, Jisoo makes a split second decision she hopes she won’t come to regret. “Alright.” Jisoo agrees. She chews thoughtfully on her pancake, envisioning a pair of catlike eyes watching her from across the outdoor patio from last night. “What time’s does it start?” Lisa stares at her for a moment, thoroughly shocked. “Wait-really? Just like that?” The Thai girl says incredulously.

“What do you mean? Were you expecting me to say no?” Jisoo laughs, trying to play off her friend’s disbelief. Lisa vigorously nods her head, chuckling softly to herself. “At least eighty-five percent of the time I ask you if you want to go out with me, you say _no_ , Jisoo-yah.” Jisoo shrugs her shoulders.

“Next semester’s going to be hell for me. I’m only taking one Gen-Ed class, and the rest is all _business_.” She pretends to shudder at the word. “I might as well get all of this out of my system while I can, right?” She shovels the last of her chocolate chip pancakes into her mouth and moves to take her plate to the dishwasher.

“If you say so, unnie,” Lisa says, watching Jisoo with a skeptical gleam in her eye, though she doesn’t say any more on the topic, but Jisoo has a feeling Lisa knows why she’s so eager to get back out to Chaeyoung’s. It’s a shot in the dark, but Jennie might just be there, and in spite of herself, Jisoo would like to see her again, even for a second.

“I’ll pick you up around eleven.”

 

**

 

“Could I get you another Mai Tai?” A familiar voice chimes in her ear.

To Jisoo’s credit, rather than following her body’s instincts and jumping half a foot into the air, she turned as smoothly as she could in her chair and gave Jennie her most charming smile.

“Please and thank you,” Jisoo replied smoothly, watching the younger girl as she slipped easily into the seat next to her. Her eyes wandered over Jennie’s slender figure, a wave of relief crashing down upon her. Tonight, Jennie had opted for a less flashy outfit. A black leather jacket was draped elegantly over her shoulders and a crisp white T-shirt was tucked into her black tennis skirt.

Jisoo thought that the two of them matched a little bit, both having donned a fair amount of black colored clothing. She’d been hoping the younger girl would end up being at Chaeyoung’s, but she hadn’t wanted to ask Lisa outright. No doubt would her best friend have turned her question into a way to relentlessly tease her about wanting to come to the party in the first place.

She’d dressed up a little more casually as well, wearing a simple outfit of a black T-shirt and a pair of ripped up skinny jeans paired with her trusty Gucci loafers. They both looked as if they were about to attend a rock concert together, Jisoo thought to herself, smoothing down the wrinkles on her shirt.

“You seem to be having fun,” Jennie said, making small talk as she waved down one of the bartenders. Jisoo snickered at her, shaking her head. “I bet you saw me come straight to the bar the second I walked in,” she joked. “Guilty as charged.”

Jennie laughed along with her. She tilted her head back just the right amount for Jisoo to make out the faint outline of the hickey she’d left on her skin last night, sending a blush raging across her face. “I guess great minds really do think alike, then. I’m guilty of doing the same,” the younger girl says. She flashes Jisoo a reassuring smile before ordering them both a round of Mai Tai’s from the bartender.

The pair watch their drinks being made in a comfortable silence, the warm summer air shimmering with the tension between them. Jisoo tries to think up of something to say that _doesn’t_ revolve around the fact they had slept together last night. But over the thumping bass of the outdoor speakers, it was hard for her to contemplate anything with the telltale scent of Jennie’s perfume wafting over her.

Luckily, Jennie was the first to speak next. “Did you get a good night’s sleep last night?” When Jisoo meets the younger girl’s eye, she catches a twinkle of mischief lingering in them. “Up until the part where I woke up to an empty bed,” Jisoo retorts dryly, hinting at the disappointment she’d felt that morning when she realized Jennie was nowhere to be found.

The bartender set down their drinks on the bar and with practiced ease and dutifully took the tip Jennie held out for him. As soon as he was out of earshot, Jennie turned her attention back to her. “I wish I could’ve stayed but I had a summer seminar to attend early this morning,” she offers apologetically, passing Jisoo her drink.

The older girl takes a generous sip of the beverage, allowing the taste to flow over her tongue. She chooses to mull over Jennie’s words in silence, pondering what to say next. “I know this might seem cheesy, but you just looked so angelic while you were sleeping.” An embarrassed look comes across Jennie’s face, and Jisoo could see her trying to reel herself back in.

“I didn’t really want to wake you, especially just to say goodbye.” The shyness glittering in Jennie’s dark brown eyes makes Jisoo blush, and she turns away to take another sip of her Mai Tai. “I could make it up to you tonight, if you like.”

Jennie’s eyes flicker with amusement while Jisoo sputters, coughing and clutching at her drink with a death grip. It’s a miracle the glass didn’t shatter in her hand. She’s still coughing up a lung when Jisoo smoothly slides a napkin over the bar.

Jisoo hears her snickering quietly as she snatches the napkin up and presses it delicately to her mouth. As she regained her composure, Jennie calmly sipped at her drink, eyes drifting over the crowd of people surrounding them.

There seemed to be even more people milling about than during yesterday’s party, all wearing dark, glittering clothing that melded with the fast falling night. Jisoo turned around in her chair and joined Jennie, surveying their surroundings with the practiced aloofness common amongst people their age.

“Well?” Jennie prods, watching as Jisoo tossed her napkin away. The corner of her mouth tugs up in attractive smile. “What do you think, Miss Jisoo?” Jisoo shrugs, turning back around to face the bar.

“I think you’re going to need to get me another drink before I make any more decisions tonight,” the older girl states, tilting back the contents of her cup. Thanks to the younger girl’s presence, a rebellious streak had been lit in her heart. She felt as wild as she had last night, and she didn’t want the feeling to end.

Instantly, Jennie obeyed her wish, gaining the attention of the bartender within a matter of seconds. As the man fixed up another Mai Tai, Jisoo meets Jennie’s hungry gaze. The look in her eyes nearly scorches her to her seat.

“Your place or mine?” She teases, unsure if Jennie is being serious or not. The drink is settled in front of her and she takes a long drag from it. When she sets it back down again, she’s satisfied to take in the sight of the younger girl’s endearing grin.

“Why don’t you finish that and come find out?” Jennie replies teasingly, propping her chin up on her fist. She stands, stepping closer to tuck a lock of Jisoo’s hair behind her ear. Her hand lingers for a moment, delicately tracing the curve of her jaw.

“I’ll be waiting. I told my cab to hang outside for a couple hours...just in case if I found you,” Jennie adds, withdrawing her touch. Jisoo’s eyebrows flick up in surprise, then quickly fall back down again. “Kind of cocky of you, don’t you think?”

Jennie giggled. “I prefer the term ‘confident’, but I digress.”

She leaned away, hesitating. There was a faint glimmer of the Jennie she saw the night before. Not the one who had been tearing up the dance floor or had pushed her up against the doorframe of her apartment to kiss her. This was the same Jennie who had looked at her so lovingly, had called her an angel, had made her believe there was something more to last night than the quelling of a deep thirst.

“Meet you downstairs in the foyer?” Jennie asked, tilting her head to the side.

Jisoo stands with her half-finished drink still in her hand. At Jennie’s inquisitive look, she merely shrugged.

“Or you _could_ escort me now.”

She brushed past Jennie before she had time to respond, allowing her fingertips to gaze teasingly against the hem of Jennie’s skirt. Tilting back her drink, Jisoo headed straight for the stairwell, pausing momentarily when she reached the first step.

Realizing that Jennie wasn’t following her, she turned her head to see the younger girl leaning against the bar, watching her with a familiar simmering look. Lips curving into a smirk, Jisoo turned to make her way down the stairwell slowly, certain Jennie was hot on her heels.

 

**

 

Unlike last night’s cab ride, there were no red hot kisses seared into the column of her throat, nor sneaky hands finding their way underneath the hem of her dress.

Instead, Jennie merely intertwined their fingers together in her lap and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth, then to the back of her hand. They seemed to have skipped ahead in time, past all of the awkward stages of wondering what their relationship could be defined as and had instantly settled into this comfortableness. 

To Jisoo, the realization was perplexing mixture of uncertainty and childish amusement. She’d never heard of this kind of connection forming outside of movies or the fiction books she liked to read. None of her friends had ever experienced this kind of story-book love. Yet she couldn’t deny that the second her eyes met Jennie’s, she felt as if she’d finally found what she’d been searching for without even realizing she was searching in the first place.

Jennie pulled away to buckle in her seatbelt and tell the cab driver her address, then reached out for Jisoo’s hand again. The pad of her thumb stroked gently against her skin, making the older girl’s heart melt.

She wondered if Jennie felt the same way about her, if she could feel the invisible bond linking them together. But she didn’t want to break the magic of the moment and decided to keep quiet. For now, she was content with holding hands with Jennie, with knowing that she wanted and was wanted at the same time. Whatever they were, at least Jisoo knew that they were _something_ , and that was enough.

The two of college students stared out at Seoul’s midnight skyline from Jisoo’s window. Their stares were defiant against the world they had been raised to know as cruel and cold towards people like them, people who had to shy away from the public eye for acceptance. It was the kind of rebellious, budding teenager type of stare that challenge anyone and everyone to a fight.

Jennie’s chin propped up on her shoulder, lips ghosting against the curve of her collarbone. At the sensation Jisoo turned her head, her blush red and lush against her cheeks when she found how close Jennie was. With Jennie’s eyes already fluttering shut, Jisoo shut her eyes and connected their lips together for the first time that night.

It was slow and passionate, as if they were kissing for the first or perhaps the last time and wanted to ensure the memory would last them a lifetime. A cough from the driver’s seat and the gentle motion of the taxi slowing to a halt forced them to part.

Once again, the two of them had underestimated the length of the trip it took to get to their destination. Jennie flashed an apologetic smile to their driver and pressed a small wad of bills into his hand. Jisoo hastily opened her door, and the two college girls hastily thanked him for the ride, then ducked out from the backseat.

On the ride up to Jennie’s flat, the two of them held hands and shyly swayed back and forth to the sound of the music playing through the elevator speakers. The tune was some jazzy tune from the forties or fifties. Smooth intervals of saxophone solo, piano riffs, and deep thrumming bass filled the tiny square box. It added to the ambiance of the night, slow and smooth, with no rush to it at all.

Jisoo even twirled Jennie around for a number until they were nearly pressed flush each other. There was a dazzling smile fixed across the ruby of Jennie’s lips and starlight reflected in her eyes. She looked so tantalizing that Jisoo couldn’t resist leaning in again and allowing herself to indulge in the divine haven of Jennie’s lips.

But just as Jennie’s hands began to tangle in her hair, the elevator dinged and came to a gentle stop at their floor. The soothing melody of the jazz song ended, and a more upbeat tune began to pick up. Jennie gave Jisoo a heated look from beneath hooded eyes, pulling her towards her front door.

And just like that, the atmosphere shifted.

 No longer was their tempo that of a slow dance, nor of a waltz. It was something darker than that, something that burned with the intensity of a setting summer sun. The moment the door was shut and the lock was securely turned, Jennie had her pressed her up against the wall, kissing her, and the only thing she was thinking about was how to stop herself from moaning out her name.

Jennie fixed her hesitation a moment later, when she slotted her knee in between Jisoo’s thighs. It came out as a reflex, hummed harshly against Jennie’s lips. The moment it happened, everything froze in place. Jennie pulled away just enough to look Jisoo dead in the eyes.

“Bedroom,” Jennie murmured softly, licking her lips. The predatory look lingering in her gaze never faltered, even as backed away. Jisoo leaned her head against the wall, trying in vain to catch her breath. Jennie’s voice was thick with lust, music to her ears. A hand splayed itself against the small of her back, tugging her forward until Jennie was able to bury her face into her neck.

“ _Now_ ,” Jennie breathed.

 

 

 

 


	3. Don't Go, Just Stay

 

 

“So, you live _here_?” Jisoo asks at breakfast the next morning.

Her head was tilted back as far as it would go, studying the towering ceilings, the numerous works of art displayed across the walls, the sheer extravagance of it all.

She had been familiar with wealth at an early age: mansions, private jets, sportscars, sleepovers in rented out aquariums, you name it. But Jennie’s penthouse was on another level entirely. Last night, Jisoo hadn’t gotten to see practically any of it, especially once Jennie had led her into her bedroom. But here, with the sunlit morning pouring through the glass walls, the entire living space seemed to come to life.

The interior was a wonderful mixture of tasteful dark wood against crisp whites. The drapes, the faux fur carpet adorning the floor, the pillows placed neatly on corners of the dark couch cushions all harshly gleamed in the sun. Each room looked like a carbon copy from a fancy remodeling magazine, but if you looked close enough, you could see little bits and pieces of Jennie scattered about.

A vast collection of vinyl albums was neatly stacked up inside of a dark wood chest, visible through a panel of glass which cut along the entire length of the front. Sitting atop the chest was a rather substantial looking record player, cleaned and dusted and looking as if it had just been bought yesterday. It looked as if it was used daily, if not regularly once a week.

Potted plants were sprinkled throughout the penthouse, adding a touch of color with their vibrant petals. A succulent by the kitchen sink, a cactus on the living room coffee table, ivy vines lining the elongated mirror above the living room mantle. Jisoo’s eyes followed the vines, eyeing the line of picture frames displayed on it.

Compared to Lisa’s flat, this was a godsend, even if it was a little more on the posh side of luxury. Looking around some more, Jisoo’s mind began to fill with questions. She wondered if Jennie had ever spilled coffee while reading a book on her loveseat, or if she actually used the giant flat screen TV hanging over the fireplace.

She drummed her fingernails against her arm, eyes drifting over towards one of the art pieces in the room. Did Jennie ever forget that there were sculptures standing around the room and accidentally almost knock one over? How often did she have company over? Jisoo turned in her seat and watched as Jennie turned off the stove.

The younger girl chuckled in response to her question and set their plates down on the marble top of the breakfast bar. The scent of sunny side up eggs and bacon filled the expansive room and Jisoo eagerly began to dig in her food. All train of thought went out the window as soon as she’d set her sights on breakfast.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Jennie replies coolly. She leans over to grab the salt shaker, causing Jisoo to nearly drool over the fact the other girl only had three buttons on her white long sleeve shirt done up. The older girl takes a quick sip of her coffee to avert her eyes, pointedly ignoring the heat pooling deep in her stomach.

They’d sated their desires last night more than once and Jisoo wanted to keep at least some kind of restraint in check, unsure if making another move would make her seem too needy too quickly or not. Jennie shrugged, somewhat disinterested at the topic. She reached over and set the salt shaker beside her plate, brushing aside Jisoo’s wonderment with the practiced air of indifference a girl of her status has learned to acquire at an early age.

Jisoo doesn’t blame her. Jennie must’ve been used to receiving such comments, what with having an entire penthouse to herself and all. Even from a preliminary view, it was obvious Jennie’s family seemed even wealthier than Jisoo and Lisa’s parents combined. A blush creeped up Jisoo’s cheeks, embarrassed at her comment.

“I like what you’ve done with the place.”

While she waited for Jennie to reply, she watched, dazed, as the girl’s shirt began to slip off her shoulder. The sharp line of Jennie’s collarbone and a slew of purple against the creamy white of her skin came into view as she cut up her breakfast. Jisoo blushed at the memory of last night and took another sip of her coffee, trying _not_ to imagine herself adding more marks upon the girl’s skin.

“Home sweet home,” the younger girl finally snickered, as if sensing Jisoo’s slight discomfort with the regality of it all. She jabbed her fork into the air, gesturing towards the living room. “I’ve been trying to make it appear cozier, but it needs more work. I think it still feels too much like the ice box it was when my parents bought it.”

She flicked her eyes up from her plate and they settled on Jisoo. For a moment, there was that white hot heat searing through her pupils, but then the corners of her eyes crinkled up into the gentlest of smiles. Hot and cold. Fire and ice. Jisoo would’ve given anything to melt with Jennie again underneath her satin bedsheets, and they both knew it, both felt the way their attraction went both ways.

Jisoo hummed in response, unsure of what to say next. She opted for an easy silence instead, allowing herself to shovel as much food as possible into her mouth. Hunger, amongst other things, was burning within her belly and she was desperate to stop her stomach from growling. When she dared to look up again, she found that Jennie’s shirt had fallen down even further.

This time, Jisoo couldn’t seem to pry her eyes away in time. She was trapped, like a moth drawn to the flame. Jennie caught her watching, a sly look on her face. Jisoo gulped while Jennie’s smirk grew even wider at Jisoo’s bewildered expression.

Her eyebrows flicked up innocently when Jisoo finally looked away, asking a silent question. _What is it, Jisoo?_

Jennie wasn’t wearing a bra.

A moment later, she wasn’t wearing a shirt, either.

 

**

 

“So, what’s going on between you and Jennie, anyways?” Lisa quipped from inside her dressing room. Jisoo looked up from her phone, caught off guard by the question. About a week had passed since Chaeyoung’s second party and Lisa had finally cornered her into joining in on a last minute shopping spree.

Ever since then, Jisoo had been avoiding bringing Jennie up in any conversation with Lisa. The younger girl’s teasing hadn’t been something she was looking forward to. But now, there was no escape. The two of them were spending the day searching through the shopping districts of Seoul for new additions to Lisa’s wardrobe because, “I _have_ to look good when we go back to school, unnie! Everything I have is _so_ last season.”

Yet while Lisa squealed over the latest Louis Vuitton bags, Jisoo mainly focused her energy on not thinking about Jennie or when she would be able to see her next. It’d been a while since she and Lisa had gone out, just the two of them, and though the younger girl could get on her nerves a little bit, Lisa was her best friend.

She’d endure the teasing if need be and wanted to be present during their outing. But that was nearly impossible to do when the younger girl was texting her nonstop, even during her summer classes. She was glad that Lisa couldn’t see her face the moment the question hit her, strangled with panic and shock.

Quickly, Jisoo gathered up the scattered bits and pieces of her brain and tried to put herself back together. “What do you mean?” She replied, startled at how easily she was able to feign indifference. Perhaps Jennie was rubbing off on her after all, she thought, bemused at the thought of her lover.

Her fingers flew over the keyboard of her phone, replying to Jennie’s latest message. The younger girl had asked her if she was doing anything this evening in case if she wanted to grab dinner, and Jisoo was jumping at the offer. After not having seen Jennie since she’d last spent the night at the younger girl’s place, Jisoo was practically aching to see her again.

Lisa scoffed. “Like I’m buying _that_ crap.” The sound of rustling fabric filled the silence between them and Jisoo held her breath, slipping her phone into her back pocket. Lisa stepped out of the room a few moments later looking like some model who’d just stepped off the runway, ruffling her hair with her hand.

Slung across her arm was the black fur lined bomber jacket Jisoo had suggested for her and her trademark Gucci backpack. Instead of her usual grin, a slight frown was splayed across her features. Jisoo followed her wordlessly as they made her way towards check-out, biting her lip.

“There’s something going on between you and her, and just because I don’t know what it is right now doesn’t mean I won’t figure it out sooner or later,” Lisa said over her shoulder, flashing a mischievous grin her way. Jisoo tilted her head back in a laugh as Lisa handed her card over to the cashier to purchase the coat.

“Is that a _threat_?” Jisoo asked, holding back a laugh.

Lisa shrugged. She smiled sweetly at the cashier and slid her card back into her wallet. She picked up her latest purchase from the marble countertop and made for the exit. “I dunno, do you _feel_ threatened by me, unnie?” Lisa replies with a smirk, holding the door open for Jisoo.

Instantly, they’re bombarded with the throng of passerby filling the sidewalk, swallowed up in the sea of people. Being the taller of them, Lisa easily cuts a path, linking their arms together and leading them towards a nearby cafe. Jisoo laughs in response, trying to play off Lisa’s words as a joke to no avail.

The younger girl simply wouldn’t drop the subject as she’d hoped. “If you _do_ , that definitely means there’s something up between you and Jennie,” the younger girl sniffed. “Why are you being so persistent?” Jisoo asks, playing her words off with another laugh. “Is there something you don’t want me to know about? Is _that_ why you’re asking me all of this?”

The two girls join the line, gazing up at the menu board to figure out what to order. Scanning over all the drinks, realization finally hits her. “Wait a second…you didn’t make a bet with Chaeyoung again, did you?” Jisoo gasps, trying to decide between getting a Boba tea or a milkshake. She gently bumps her shoulder against Lisa’s, but the younger girl stays suspiciously quiet.

Jisoo’s flicks and eyebrow up. “You _didn’t_!”

Lisa grimaces. “Maybe I-”

“You _know_ what always happens when you make a bet against Chaeyoung, Lisa-yah,” Jisoo cuts her off, stifling a laugh. She’d finally gotten the chance to meet Chaeyoung a couple days ago. Lisa invited them both to dinner one night and the three of them clicked instantly, as if they’d always been good friends from the start.

One of the first things Jisoo noticed about the blonde girl was that she _never_ seemed to lose a bet. And Lisa, being the somewhat competitive type, couldn’t shy away from a challenge no matter how hard she tried. Never the sore loser, the Thai girl could be game for anything, even if it meant she’d be the one picking up the bill afterwards.

Which meant a _lot_ of winning and losing took place when the three of them met up, to Jisoo’s amusement. Thankfully, none of their bets had gone so far as anything overly expensive, like jewel encrusted rings or the latest model phone. Rather than wanting popular materialistic things, Chaeyoung was a connoisseur of food. Often, the Aussie used her bets to her advantage, roping Lisa into taking her out to the best restaurants Seoul had to offer.

“I know, I know,” Lisa mumbles, shuffling forward in the line. A pout is evident in her voice, though Jisoo’s too focused on squinting at the menu to see it. “I ought to have learnt my lesson after our fifth night out, but this time around I thought for _sure_ I was going to win.” Jisoo’s eyebrows furrowed together.

“What did you guys bet on, anyways?” She asks, half interested. As long as they were steering away the conversation from Jennie, she thought to herself. She snickered a bit, “That Jennie and I would get together or something?”

“Yeah, actually. It’s part of the reason why I introduced you guys in the first place,” Lisa laughs. They take another step forward in the line, readying themselves to order. Jisoo runs a hand through her hair, maintaining her poker face.

“That’s…interesting. What were the stakes?” Jisoo asks, curiosity getting the better of her. Lisa sighs and breaks out her wallet, leafing through her change. They’re next in line and Jisoo still doesn’t know what she wants to order. To get the iced chai or the iced mocha? Now _that_ was a question.

“I guess I owe Chaeng a new car…?”

Jisoo’s eyes nearly pop out of her skull.

“Yah! Lalisa! You did _what_?” She screeches, earning them the attention of everyone in the cafe. The Thai girl winces with shame, then flashes around an embarrassed smile, trying to play off Jisoo’s outburst as best as she can. She grabs Jisoo by the arm and heaves her up to the register with her.

“There, there, unnie. We can talk this over later, right?” She hisses, trying to soothe Jisoo’s shock. She gives a reassuring smile to their cashier, who’s giving them a rather odd look, and prods Jisoo’s arm. “Let me get your drink and we can talk this over somewhere less... _public_ ,” Lisa pleads, wincing when Jisoo shoots her a deadly glare.

“Fine. But I’m _not_ letting this go easily, Lisa. You _promised_ me you’d cut back on your spending, and now this? A _car_ of all things?” Jisoo shakes her head at the younger girl, then pinches at the bridge of her nose. “I know your parents don’t mind what you do with your money, but this is _way_ too much.” After giving Lisa one last pointed look, she turns to the cashier, expression morphing into a polite smile.

“I’d like an iced mocha, extra whipped cream, please. To go.” With her head held low, Lisa turns to finish their order, getting herself an iced latte. She hands the cashier her card and one swipe later, they’re waiting for their drinks to be made. As they lean against the counter, Jisoo speaks up again, her tone icy and that of a disappointed older sister, fully taking advantage of her topic change.

“We’re going back to my place _and_ you’re going to explain yourself every step of the way,” she says. “There’s no way I’m letting you buy Chaeyoung a car, even _if_ she thinks she’s right about your bet.” The barista calls out their order and sets their drinks on the counter. Lisa quickly fetches them, expression apologetic. “Yes, unnie.”

Jisoo burst out the front doors of the coffee shop without checking to see if Lisa was following her. She takes a sip of her coffee and makes a beeline in the direction of her apartment, already formulating her lecture in her head. At least this time around, she’d managed to dodge the topic of Jennie. Lisa stumbles out after her, out of breath and desperate to catch up.

“Unnie!” She calls, “W-wait up!”

 

**

 

Jisoo sighed, content as she stared out of the tall windows lining the walls of Jennie’s bedroom. Lying beside her was Jennie, facing her and resting with her eyes closed. Their naked figures were tangled together, covered by the silken sheets of Jennie’s bed. A warm hand splayed itself across the skin of Jisoo’s bare side, ensuring that she stayed in place even as Jennie slept.

Beyond the bustle of the city, the sun teetered clumsily along the horizon like a child slowly rising from its slumber. Rays of searing reds and yellows and oranges began to light up Jennie’s bedroom. Instinctively, Jennie inched her way closer to her, nestling her face into the crook of Jisoo’s neck so as to shield herself from the harsh light.

Jisoo looked down at the sleeping girl with a gentle smile. The vivid feeling of her heart burning for the younger girl rekindled itself in that instance at the domesticity of it all. More than anything, Jisoo wished moments could always be like this between them; simplistic yet filled with such tenderness that it nearly melted her soul away to its very essence. A serenity existed in Jennie’s arms that couldn’t be duplicated any other way.

The younger girl’s presence presented Jisoo with a wash of calm and a surge of attraction mixed into one single, searing feeling. Yet despite knowing what her own desires for their relationship were, there were times Jisoo wasn’t entirely sure what the younger girl’s motives truly were – what Jennie wanted from her.

No labels had been given to their relationship and Jisoo had yet to ask for any sort of clarification. It’d been nearly a month since they’d been seeing each other, but there still weren’t any lines drawn between the two of them. She’d thought they’d get around to it sooner or later, and lost track of time while she waited.

Now, it was mid-July and she was _still_ a little in the dark about her and Jennie. Most of the time, if the two of them ended up going to the same party, there was no doubt that they were going home with each other. There’d be long looks across the room, banter over a few drinks, then a short cab ride to whoever’s place was closer.

But their dynamic seemed to have morphed into more than just drinking too much at fancy college parties and making love together while still a little tipsy. She and Jennie went out on dates and spent the night at each other’s place when it got too late out. After a few of these little sleepovers, it became routine for them to make breakfast together in the mornings, maybe even spend the afternoon lounging around watching dramas or reading books together.

Jisoo stopped having to wonder if she’d be seeing Jennie again in the mornings, for after every night spent together, Jennie would wake her up with butterfly kisses and a wide smile. Plus, the two girls practically text each other nonstop whenever they’re not together, sharing little details about their day or asking questions about each other’s past to get to know each other better.

They’d hold hands whenever they walked around the city together and Jennie always stole kisses from Jisoo in the dark of the cinema when they went on movie dates. They hardly went more than a few days of the week without seeing each other again. In fact, Jisoo suspected that they saw each other more frequently than Chaeyoung and Lisa did, who were _actually_ dating.

Even still, in more ways than one, it was scary to ask Jennie about what they were. The possibility of losing what little Jisoo might have of Jennie was entirely plausible. Most of kids their age were all about the hookup culture and masking their feelings from each other. No matter how domestic everything they did seemed, there was still a chance Jennie didn’t want to be in an establish relationship.

So Jisoo never brought it up, too afraid of what Jennie’s answer would be in case if she were to lose her. What if Jennie _was_ just interested in getting into her pants? What if this was some sort of one sided love Jisoo had made up in her head? The longer Jisoo spent time with Jennie, the more nights she spent at Jennie’s place or Jennie at her’s, it became more difficult to think about.

Somewhere along the glitz and glam of the fancy parties and the late nights and the hookups, Jisoo had gotten herself engulfed in Jennie’s fire. There was no mistaking it now, this feeling that had blossomed in her chest like the most dangerous of flowers, like the brightest of flames. Jisoo was in love. And _just_ as she was coming to terms with it, Jennie seemed to wake up from her reverie.

“Hey,” the younger girl mumbled, her voice still trapped within a dream, halfway in between here and there. “What are you thinking about, Jisoo-yah?”

Jisoo turned her head and looked at her, saw the beauty radiating in Jennie’s face and perhaps fell even deeper than before. She loves her. Yes, Jisoo is sure of it now more than ever. She’s in love with Jennie. Jisoo turns on her side, slipping a lazy hand over Jennie’s waist and revels in the soft, silkiness of her skin.

Touching Jennie was like caressing the velvet of a starry night sky, Jisoo thought to herself, smiling sadly at her. “Reasons to make you stay just a little while longer,” her voice came out timid and small, like that of a child who knows they’re in trouble. Jennie chuckled warmly and shook her head, trying to rid herself of her sleepiness.

Beneath her palm, Jisoo could feel the ripple of her muscles as Jennie stretched, reaching up towards the ceiling with her free hand. A lock of her long dark brown hair fell over her face and Jisoo reached up to tuck them behind her ear with an easy smile.

“I know,” Jennie breathed softly, leaning a little more into Jisoo’s touch. Her eyelids fluttered, fighting off the urge to fall back asleep while Jisoo fought off the urge to kiss her. “And as much as I’d _love_ to stay here in Seoul, school’s starting back up next month.” Jennie frowns, expression sorrowful with her downcast eyes.

“My parents want me to fly back to Auckland to visit family before I hit the books again. It’s this tradition of ours...you understand right? No matter how much I’d plead, I’d still have to leave at some point.” Jisoo nods slowly. They’d had this discussion perhaps three times too many.

Once, Jisoo had entertained the thought that Jennie might as her to accompany her on the trip, but that hope quickly extinguished itself as the date of Jennie’s flight grew closer. Feeling frustrated with her own neediness, Jisoo mentally scolded herself. She should be focusing on the present, with Jennie still here in her arms and staring at her with that hazy glaze in her eye, before it passed her by.

Jennie would be gone for the rest of summer break, which meant an entire _month_ without her. In the meantime, Jisoo would be at home, no doubt aching for her return. She searched the younger girl’s face, trying to memorize the way her nose curved, the way her cupid’s bow was shaped, the exact position of the mole beneath her eyebrow.

“You know,” Jennie murmurs, her voice lower than before. She presses even closer, and Jisoo feels their naked chests brushing together beneath the bedsheets. The sensation effectively halts all the gears churning in Jisoo’s head and she can only watch, helpless, as Jennie approaches. “There’s only got a week or so left before I have to go,” the younger girl whispers, her lips brushing against Jisoo’s.

The hand that had been thrown over her side kneads at the sensitive skin above Jisoo’s hip bone and she swallows hard, already feeling herself winding back up again. She only has to blink and a moment later, Jennie’s straddling her. With her thighs positioned on either side of her, Jennie grins down at Jisoo before leaning down to press her lips against Jisoo’s pulse point.

“Let’s make the most of it, shall we?” Jennie mumbles. A low noise rumbles in the back of Jisoo’s throat, cuing the younger girl to bow her head and kiss a path down, down, down. And just like that, Jennie was making it difficult for Jisoo to do anything but arch her back and gasp for air.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Under The Moonlight

 

 

After that fateful night, Jisoo couldn’t even catch a glimpse of the younger girl.

She only notices the fact two weekends later, when she breaks away from Lisa’s constant hovering to order herself a drink. Alone for the first time in the midst of the heavy bass and the stinging smell of alcohol, Jisoo realizes Jennie had been curiously absent from every single one of the parties they usually went to.

Hesitantly, Jisoo turned and searched the crowd for her, but deep down she knew Jennie was gone. That she’d been gone for quite some time and Lisa had outdone herself with distracting her from the fact. How could she have even gone this long without _thinking_ about Jennie?

She took a sip of her drink, bitter to the taste, and felt a weight crashing down on her. It seemed like something completely unfathomable, especially after the love she felt for Jennie had struck her so suddenly. But then she thought about Lisa and Chaeyoung dragging her everywhere with them. There had been shopping excursions, parties, even a two day trip to Jeju supplied by Chaeyoung’s parents.

Jisoo tried to grasp back onto reality and reel herself in. Jennie must’ve already left for Auckland. No wonder Lisa had refused to leave her side, dragging her this way and that towards all of her friends. Come to think of it, _all_ of her friends had stuck by her side as if they’d all been fused together with super glue.

An ache began to resonate in Jisoo’s chest, and she quickly turned back around in her seat to hide the torn expression that wracked her face. There was no point in looking for someone who had already gone, right? Lifting a finger, Jisoo ordered herself two more rounds of tequila shots. A broken smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Tonight, she was going to get blasted, because Lisa’s previous intuition had been right. After she knew Jennie wasn’t going to be anywhere near her for god only knows how long, there was no way she could stop thinking about her. Tipping back the first shot, Jisoo saw a flash of Jennie’s warm smile. Caught a whiff of her Chanel perfume. Saw the tinted red of her lipstick.

When she tipped back the second, Jisoo saw Jennie’s lust filled gaze as she led her into the bedroom, pooling with want and darkness. She hoped that by the third, she would start to forget. If anything, the memories were becoming ever clearer in her head, like she could turn her head and Jennie would be standing there beside her, ordering herself a drink with her familiar air of cold casualness.

Dazed, Jisoo ordered another round, wanting more than anything to flush the memories from her mind. _She hadn’t even said goodbye._ Jisoo spun around an empty shot glass, waiting for the bartender to fill up the other. _She didn’t even tell me she was leaving._ That aching in her chest had begun to spread. Within a few moments, even her head was pounding with sorrow.

The bartender whirled away to take care of his other patrons, and Jisoo downed both shots in quick succession. She took a deep breath, trying to acclimate herself with the harsh burn of the liquor. The bitter liquid made her wonder if Jennie had ever had it before. And just like that, she was thinking of Jennie all over again, clutching onto the bar to keep herself from falling off her seat.

She thought of Jennie in that black sequin dress she wore the first time they met. How it caught the light and made it hard for Jisoo to look away. She thought about Jennie wearing the smoky eye makeup she wore only when she was feeling particularly dangerous. She envisioned the cheeky grin she’d flash at her from across the room. And finally, Jennie giving her a sleepy kiss before nestling closer in her arms.

It was all too much, like a typhoon of emotion had crashed down over her. She needed _more._ Why wasn’t the alcohol working? Just as she was about to order her fourth round, a hand came to rest atop her shoulder.

“I think that’s enough, unnie.”

Lisa’s perfume, a fresh and clear scent, washed over Jisoo, enveloping her in a shroud of comfort. But even her best friend’s warm, comforting presence couldn’t keep her from feeling sorry for herself.

“Jennie’s gone, isn’t she?” Jisoo slurred, shoulders sagging. Everything had begun to spin slowly. Her alcohol tolerance had gone up ever since she’d started to hang out more with Chaeyoung and Lisa, but she knew she had gone past her limitations. Getting up from her seat was going to be a feat she didn’t know if she was ready for.

Lisa sighed heavily. They both knew there wasn’t much a point in lying if the both of them already knew. The Thai girl sank into the seat next to Jisoo and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing the older girl closer.

“She left Saturday night.”

Jisoo bit her lip, fighting off the urge to cry.

“Hm.”

She blinked back the tears shimmering at the corners of her vision and looked down at her lap. She felt sorrier for herself than she had in years. A lump formed in her throat and a hole had torn through where her heart should be. It’s as if Lisa saw this because in the next instant, she’s leading Jisoo up and out of the bar area.

The air outside is filled with the scent of cigarette smoke and exhaust fumes from the cars rolling by on the street. Above them, the sky is blocked out by a thick blanket of cloud cover. Not even the moon shone through. A tear falls from Jisoo’s face and splashes down on the grimy pavement of the sidewalk. The world without Jennie seems bleak and gray, all the color of life whisked away in a single revelation.

“I think it’s time we went home, huh?” Lisa says conversationally, trying to maintain her usual chipper tone. Jisoo says nothing, remaining silent as she allows Lisa to lead her towards her car. Her feet dragged along by their own accord. Her mind too preoccupied thinking of why Jennie didn’t even spare her a goodbye text to even realize what she was doing. “I’ve got a new slew of Studio Ghibli movies,” Lisa tries again by way of inviting Jisoo over to her place.

They reach Lisa’s car and Jisoo wordlessly moves around to the passenger side of the vehicle. “Alright,” she says, voice hardly above a whisper. Her energy had drained so much, she feared talking any louder would cause her to faint. “I was getting tired, anyways.” Lisa unlocked the car with a somewhat relieved expression.

Biting her lip, she cranks up the radio to one of their favorite songs and the car peel out of the parking lot. But Jisoo barely hears a thing as she stares out the car window, watching her life pass her by. Like a VCR tape, her mind rewinds back to the last time she’d seen Jennie, when they’d shared the sunrise together, when she realized how deeply she’d fallen for the younger girl. Once they managed to finally get out of Jennie’s bed, they’d fixed breakfast together, clad only in their underwear.

In front of the stove, they danced to Girls’ Generation and BoA, twirling around with freshly made pancakes burning their fingertips. Later, they settled on the sofa in Jennie’s living room, watching reruns of The King of Mask Singer. Around one o’clock, Jennie lifted her head from Jisoo’s lap and sighed.

“I almost forgot, my parents want to have lunch with me later. I’ve got to start getting ready,” she sighed, stretching. Jisoo rose up off the couch, immediately taking this as her cue to get going. But just as she was about to gather her things and go, Jennie’s hand encircled her wrist. “Join me in the shower first?” The younger girl asked, eyes gleaming mischievously.

Jisoo almost smiled at the memory. There had been no indicator that would be the last time she’d get to see Jennie. There was no indication in the way Jennie gasped her name as the shower water simmered over them, nor when Jennie watched her fondly in the bathroom mirror when they toweled off afterwards.

Surely, she hadn’t sensed any hesitation when Jennie pulled her in for a long goodbye kiss before she’d left to let her get ready. Jisoo pressed her forehead against the car window, staring into nothing. Everything had seemed perfect when she’d left Jennie’s apartment. Where had everything gone wrong? Did this mean Jennie didn’t want to see her anymore?

Beside her, Lisa softly sang along to the radio, filling up the silence with white noise. Jisoo absently bobbed her head along to the thrum of the beat. For the first time, the girl began to think perhaps she’d made a mistake getting involved with Jennie in the first place. Friends with benefits wasn’t something she’d predicted getting herself tangled up in before, but she’d surprised even herself when Jennie came around.

She’d broken the unspoken golden rule of friends with benefits. Perhaps Jennie had sensed this, the tenderness Jisoo regarded her with, and decided to break things off in this passive, non-confrontational way to save them both the hassle. Maybe there isn’t any cell service in New Zealand? Jisoo thought to herself bitterly.

Lisa pulled into the parking garage of her apartment complex and Jisoo wondered what she should do in Jennie’s absence. There were two extreme behaviors Jisoo had learned people often gravitated to after a break up. Should she pull out all the stops - throw parties at her place every night, get drunk every day of the week, sleep with another girl? Or should she become a recluse until school started up again?

Lisa swung her car into an empty parking spot and looked over at her, worry still reflected in the pools of her large doe eyes. “Come on up, I restocked all my snacks the other day,” the Thai girl said with a tiny, timid smile. The corner of Jisoo’s lip turned up ever so slightly. “Ramen?” She asked softly, unbuckling her seat belt.

“Ramen.”

 

**

 

At first, Jisoo went through first few stages of a typical heartbreak. She mourned over silly selfies her and Jennie had taken, stayed far away from any sort of breakfast food, and ate a couple tubs of ice cream. She felt silly, as if nothing had even been true between them. A week went by in the blink of an eye, then one became two.

Time itself ceased to exist. The days and nights all blurred into one. Soon it was difficult for Jisoo to remember the where’s and when’s. When she saw Jennie last, where they’d gone on their last date. All Jisoo was sure of was that she would wait for Jennie to explain herself. She’d convinced herself that perhaps this was all just some sort of misunderstanding, that Jennie might’ve forgotten her cellphone at home and realized halfway through her flight.

In the meantime, Jisoo remained holed up in her apartment. She felt reluctant to step outside the comforting confines of her home as she grasped for anything, _something_ to hold onto that could help her forget the pain Jennie was giving her. Jisoo rationalized not going out by telling herself if she did, she might miss a call or text from Jennie. She hardly left the comfort of her couch, eyes glued to the TV and her phone clutched in her hands.

Yet despite her jumping at every single phone notification day in and day out, there was still no message from the younger girl. Jennie seemed to have vanished off of the face of the earth, never to return. Jisoo didn’t dare call or message herself. Although she was practically dying to see how the younger girl was doing, her pride prevented her from allowing her to cave in. Sometimes, she questioned if any of it were real. Perhaps her mind had merely made Jennie up.

Lisa began dropping by her apartment more often. Sometimes Chaeyoung or with one of their other friends would tag along. On her visits, the Thai girl always brought a giant Coach slung across her shoulder. More often than not, it was filled to the brim with all sorts of goodies: snacks, novels, video games, movies. Jisoo was convinced Lisa could fit an entire convenience store in the bag.

At least four times a week, Lisa would show up at her doorstep without fail. She would wield the heavy bag and her radiant smile as if she were Santa Claus himself on Christmas day. Sheepishly, Jisoo would let her in with a sullen silence clinging to her frame. It was difficult to put into words how much she was thankful for the younger girl’s presence, but it seemed like Lisa knew without her saying anything.

The Thai girl never commented on how Jisoo almost always was wearing the same clothes as the last time she visited. Nor did she fret over the disarray her apartment had fallen into. Instead, Lisa would merely set her bag down on the sofa, put the kettle on in the kitchen and let Jisoo set up a movie for them to watch. It was a routine Jisoo could always count on, the _only_ routine she could count on.

While Lisa waited for the water to heat up for their instant ramen meals, she’d begin tidying up. Jisoo stared at the blank television screen in the living room, thinking about Jennie running off somewhere with another girl while Lisa scrubbed away at the piles of dirty plates in the kitchen.

Lisa tossed out the stacks of empty takeout boxes littering the countertops and Jisoo checked her phone for the thousandth time, waiting for a message that would never come. Lisa observed her wordlessly, collecting discarded blankets strewn across the rug and tidying as much as she could before the kettle sang.

“I heard this is a really good one,” Lisa would say with a smile once she’d finished, plopping herself down next to Jisoo. Jisoo hadn’t even glanced at the cover before she popped the disc into the DVD player.

“Chaeyoung recommended it to me. It’s actually her copy. She told me to say hi, she’s got family in town, so she couldn’t come over tonight.” Jisoo would give a slight nod as a response, and that was that. Lisa would pass Jisoo a bowl of ramen and they’d watch the movie together in a comfortable silence until it was over.

Jisoo came to discover that even while she was almost never by herself, she could still feel the distinct hollow of the heartbreak radiating inside of her chest. It had become this part of her that she was never without, never not reminded of. Hardly anything could distract her long enough to forget for more than a few minutes.

It dawned on her just how much Lisa, Chaeyoung, and the rest of her friends had cared for her. With this realization came the epiphany of just how much she’d let her heartbreak affect her. She hadn’t spoken more than a handful of sentences to anyone in days. She lay awake in her bed at night, mulling over all of this with a heavy heart, before falling asleep.

Once three weeks of moping had gone by, Jisoo entered a different stage of heartbreak. Suddenly, her apartment no longer gave her reprieve it used to. The walls were beginning to suffocate her and soon Jisoo wanted nothing more than to go out and start living her life again.

First, she went on a cleaning spree, eager to rid her apartment of the things Jennie had left behind on their rendezvous. A few tubes of lipstick on the vanity, a bottle of Chanel perfume in the medicine closet, and a handful of blouses in the dresser all went into a cardboard box tucked neatly in the back of Jisoo’s linen closet.

Once that was taken care of, Jisoo set about vacuuming every room, doing a few loads of laundry, set on completely cleansing her system from any lingering traces of Jennie’s presence. Lisa had done a wonderful job at spot cleaning, but a deep clean was more than necessary.

Within the span of a day, Jisoo felt she’d done enough spring cleaning to last       throughout the rest of the year. After putting away her vacuum and her cleaning supplies, she looked around at her apartment with a sense of accomplishment. The place practically glowed with cleanliness. When Lisa came around that evening, arm in arm with Chaeyoung, the two were startled at the stark contrast of the girl standing before them in the doorway.

After the pair looked around, jaws dropped, for a few moments, Lisa straightened suddenly and smiled. “I _love_ what you’ve done with the place,” the Thai girl said, an expression of sheer wonderment splayed across her face. The three of them made their way into the living room, Chaeyoung nodding along.

“Are you still up for takeout and a movie?” She asked, settling on Jisoo’s couch next to Lisa. She flicked a lock of her light brown hair over her shoulder, a tiny habit she made when she was unsure of herself. “I hear there’s this new series on Netflix that’s supposed to be really good. It’s this remake of Sabrina the Witch but way, way scarier.”

“A horror show _does_ sound tempting, but I was wondering...why don’t we go to Key’s party tonight?” Jisoo suggests instead, much to her friends’ amazement. She plops herself down on the loveseat adjacent to the sofa and meets their bewilderment with an easy laugh. “Almost everyone I know has been talking about it since the invites went out last weekend. Kind of sounds like the kind of place we’d want to be at, am I right?”

“Are you sure?” Lisa asks, her voice filled with hesitation. The Thai girl glanced at Chaeyoung nervously, unsure of what to say. “I mean...you’re positive you’re up for that?” Jisoo ran a hand through her hair, understanding of where Lisa’s coming from. For the past two weeks straight, she’d been a complete homebody, lurking in the confines of her apartment.

But she was confident in a change of pace. It’d been far too long since she’d felt the thrum of deep bass against her ribcage, since she’d gone out with her friends. She’d moved past her moping stage, and she was barreling head first towards something a little more fast paced.

She yearned to lose herself in the middle of a dancefloor, to be just another girl having fun. Jisoo was tired of mourning, she wanted something that would make her feel alive again. A party would be the perfect thing to kickstart her back into gear again, get her confidence back up and help her forget about Jennie for a while. It was the ultimate distraction.

“Absolutely!” Jisoo replied, giggling. She clasped her hands together in her lap and shrugged. “It’s about time I got out of this apartment. And besides, what’s a better way of spend our last couple days of summer break than getting roaringly drunk with two of my best friends?”

Lisa and Chaeyoung exchanged another look, each trying to decide whether or not to agree to Jisoo’s proposal. Sensing their inclination to decline, Jisoo coughed a little. “I could always call Mino to pick me up if you guys don’t wanna come with,” she commented offhandedly, pretending to scroll through her phone.

Chaeyoung looked sharply at her at the young man’s name. “Lisa and I would love to tag along!” She said in a rather high pitched voice, nudging at Lisa’s shoulder. “Uh, yeah!” Lisa said, nodding her head rapidly, “It’s been awhile since we’ve gone out together, I think it’d be fun! But I don’t think Chae and I are dressed for a party.”

She glanced down at her outfit, then at Chaeyoung with a frown on her face. “Doesn’t it start in like two hours?” At this, Jisoo’s grin widened. She jumped up from the loveseat and gestured for the couple to follow her. “Don’t worry about that,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ve got you guys covered.”

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Let's Have No Regrets

 

 

Three and a half hours later, Jisoo was exactly where she wanted to be. She stood in the middle of Key’s vast living room, packed in a crowd of college kids jamming out to songs blasting through the sound system. A red solo cup was sweating in her right hand, half empty with crushed ice, vodka, and a splash of sprite. A swatch of glitter coated her cheekbones, catching the dim strobe lights flashing in each corner of the room.

She’d lost track of Lisa and Chaeyoung just a few minutes ago, after the couple had left her to find more drinks and was alone on the dancefloor. But rather than feeling isolated, like she usually would if she were alone at a party, Jisoo felt freer somehow. The concern and worry hadn’t left her friends’ eyes the entire night, even after a handful of tequila shots, and it was nice to get away from that for a moment.

It wasn’t that Jisoo could blame them for being doubtful or suspicious of her change of attitude. Chaeyoung and Lisa were rightfully worried with how out of character she’d been acting since Jennie left. But even so, Jisoo felt a little hurt that they didn’t seem to trust her fully yet. Their behavior, though with good intentions, served as a reminder she was still fragile, and that wasn’t how Jisoo wanted to feel tonight.

She wanted to feel at ease with herself again. Jisoo felt sick of analyzing every detail of her character and wondering what made Jennie leave without a word. Without Chaeyoung and Lisa’s watchful gazes picking apart every possible meaning behind each action and two tequila shots and her second mixed drink already halfway finished, Jisoo was beginning to feel a tiny bit better.

Her body swayed along to the music as she lost herself to the beat. Her head lulled back and she closed shut for a moment, allowing everything to wash over her at once. The constant noise of her thoughts ceased its steady buzz. Soon, she was left with the weightless sensation of transitioning from tipsiness to getting a little drunker than she remembered wanted to be.

She’d need a few glasses of water if she wanted to keep from stumbling around too much. Sighing inwardly, Jisoo ceased her dancing to the music and headed in the direction Lisa and Chaeyoung had gone. It took her nearly ten minutes to find the kitchen, weaving in between other college students and stumbling across rooms that seemed larger than her entire apartment.

When she finally found herself in the right place, she dumped out her drink and filled it up with water at the faucet. She internally cursed at the maze of a mansion. These were the kinds of houses she typically disliked, with white marble staircases winding up to the millionth floor and a hundred different rooms to get lost in.

Even after living in her family’s house for most of her life, there were moments when she’d get turned around. A group of chattering sorority girls stumbled over to the counter next to her, shifting through the rows of glass liquor bottles for something to fill their cups with.

Jisoo flashed them a small smile, and blushed when one of the girls shot a wink her way. She stayed there for a bit, leaning against the marble countertop with her cup of water. The sorority girls shuffled away, one nearly tripping over the other, while Jisoo remained lost in thought. She refilled her glass, wondering if she should text Lisa and Chaeyoung to ask where they are.

She fished her phone out from the bottom of her clutch and groaned. The device refused to turn on, dead as a doornail. Naturally, she thought to herself, throwing her phone back into her purse. So much for finding the other girls, searching for them now would be like finding a needle in a haystack with a blindfold on. She stayed put for a few more minutes, drinking down cup after cup of water to clear her head.

Once she’d chugged down the last glass, she ambled her way out of the kitchen to a different section of the house. Jisoo figured if she fanned out, she'd get a better chance at catching a glimpse of her friends. It wasn’t the end of the world if they didn’t meet back up, Jisoo could always flag down a taxi to get home. Besides, she needed to search for the bathroom. After so much drinking, she practically as if she were going to burst.

“Jisoo, isn’t it?” A voice appeared over her shoulder as she turned the corner.

A hand gently encircled her arm, tugging her back towards the entrance of the corridor she’d come down. Jisoo had walked into a quiet corridor, and she nearly startled to death at the sudden interruption. “Oh, shit!”

At first, she shied away from the touch, but once she turned around and saw who it was, she broke out into a relieved smile. “Sana? Is that you?” Jisoo asked, bewildered. Even after flooding her system with water, the alcohol was still making her mind a little hazier than usual. She stepped closer to the figure to get a better look.

“You _do_ remember me!” Sana giggled as her face slowly came into focus. “You seemed a little spaced out, I was worried for a second there.” Her pretty almond eyes glittered at Jisoo like a pair of polished gemstones. Briefly, Jisoo found herself at a loss for words at how gorgeous the girl was, all dressed up in a tight fitting black velvet dress and a pair of leather boots.

Jisoo had always thought the transfer student was pretty, with her long light brown hair and her chiseled features. But here, in the crisp light of the corridor, Sana was otherworldly. Before Jisoo could stop her jaw from dropping, a group of rowdy frat boys pushed past them. One of them lunged out to grab Jisoo’s arm, and smoothly, Sana led Jisoo further down the hall to avoid them.

They stopped near the end of the hallway and leaned up against opposite ends of the wall, giggling at each other. “You know, I forgot to get your number after last quarter! I never got to thank you properly for holding all of those study sessions in your apartment. That Physics professor was _something,_ huh?” Jisoo said, shaking her head.

“That’s alright,” Sana laughed, her giggle echoing around in Jisoo’s head. The sound snapped a smile across Jisoo’s face instantly. “ _Someone_ had to teach class and I’ve always been halfway decent with science. Figured I’d lend everyone a hand.” Jisoo nodded her head in agreement, and the conversation died down again, giving way to the faint sound of the stereo in the living room.

“Are you here with friends?” Sana asked conversationally, nursing her cup. Jisoo glanced at it and saw that the girl had doodled a few flowers on the flaming red plastic. “Yeah, Lisa and Chaeyoung tagged along with me,” Jisoo said, waving a hand back where the party raged on. “There somewhere in there.”

At this point, she could feel herself sobering up. Somewhere on her search for the bathroom and moving to the back of the corridor with Sana, she’d forgotten she needed to go to the bathroom, but now the necessity sparked back up again.

“We kind of lost track of each other a while back,” Jisoo said, crossing her legs together. Sana nodded along, smiling. “How are things going with Jihyo?” Jisoo asked. For a moment, there was a flicker of sadness in Sana’s eyes, but one swig from her cup and she seemed to spring back. “We’re on a break right now, actually. Mutual thing.”

Jisoo nodded along, toying with her cup, unsure of what to say. Jihyo and Sana both had a reputation within their grade of playing with hearts. With all of Sana’s attention directed on her, Jisoo could understand the reason why so many people fell for her. There was something that drew you in to the girl, made you want to be the person who made her smile.

Sana shrugged and looked down at the floor, and Jisoo found her heart tugging in her chest. The moment you looked Sana in the eye, she put you under a trace. You craved for a sliver of her attention the moment she looked away. Jisoo coughed slightly, taking another sip of her water, wondering when the right moment would be to ask if Sana knew where the bathroom was.

“What about you?” Sana asked, her voice a little darker than before. “Seeing anyone?” Jisoo looked up at her and shrugged. The pair weren’t necessarily close, but they were in the same circle. She wasn’t surprised Sana had no idea about her and Jennie’s summer fling. “I guess I’m on a break, too. Just wanted to get out of the apartment for a few hours,” Jisoo said.

Sana pushed off of the wall and began to walk back down to the party. Instinctively, Jisoo followed her lead, shuffling awkwardly beside the graceful girl. “I felt the same way!” Sana exclaimed, “I guess Jihyo thought I’d be in Japan for most of our break, visiting family and whatnot, but...well, here we are. Figured this would help take my mind off of things.”

Sana slowed down in front of a closed door in the middle of the corridor, leaning against the doorframe. “I can relate,” Jisoo replied, taking another sip of her water. Just behind Sana’s shoulder, a giggling girl was leading her boyfriend into an empty room. The door slammed shut behind them, and Jisoo’s face flushed again, her mind drifting back to Jennie again.

“I’m glad we got to catch up, Jisoo,” Sana laughed, turning to look up the hallway. “By the way, what did you come down here for? I was about to head out when you stumbled in.” Jisoo blushed and rubbed at the back of her neck, embarrassed. “Ah...I needed to go to the bathroom,” she laughed sheepishly. “I kept getting lost and took a turn in here. Still can’t seem to find one.”

Stifling a laugh, Sana jabbed her thumb at the door she was leaning against. “Getting around Key’s place can be a bit of a hassle. I’m pretty sure there’s a bathroom right here, though! Next time he throws a party, I’m going to tell him he should print out floor plans.” The pair laugh and Jisoo rests her hand on the doorknob. “Want me to get us some drinks while you’re…?” Sana trailed off, tilting her head to the side.

“Uh, yeah!” Jisoo replied. She figured the other girl wanted to catch up some more, they hadn’t seen each other since fall semester that year. “That’d be great! I’ll meet you in the kitchen with our drinks?” Jisoo asked, handing her cup over to Sana. “Only if you don’t take another wrong turn, cutie,” the girl winked just before she shut the bathroom door.

 

**

 

When Jisoo stumbled out of the bathroom a few minutes later, she hadn’t been expecting to be pushed against the hard surface of the door. Nor had she expected lean arms holding her in place, the sight of Sana’s dark gaze trained on her.

“Oh, what?” Jisoo gasped, shocked. “S-sana?”

“Took you long enough, silly,” Sana murmured, a sly smile on her face. Her eyes were darker than before, and they flicked down to her lips. “I’m glad you got the hint, though.” Stunned, Jisoo merely looked at her, eyes wider than a pair of saucers. The other girl winked at her and slowly began to lean in, kicking Jisoo’s brain back into gear.

“Wait, _hint_?” Jisoo stammered, freeing a hand from Sana’s grasp. She gently pushed back against Sana’s shoulder, signaling the girl to stop and let her go. A confused expression crossed Sana’s face as she dropped her arms to her sides. Hesitantly, she backed up a couple paces.

“What hint, Sana?” Jisoo asked again, taking advantage of the breathing room Sana had given her. “I thought you...you know,” Sana murmured, rolling her eyes a little. Jisoo arched an eyebrow, still clueless as to what the girl was referring to. “Huh?” Jisoo asked, still clueless.

“Oh – I…thought you wanted to hook up or...something,” Sana said, shrugging. Her cheeks were dusted with a fine coat of pink, and she looked down at her shoes. “Oh,” Jisoo said, her heart in her throat. The word fell flat on the floor like an anvil. She ran a hand through her hair, unsure of what to say to comfort the other girl.

“Sana...you’re beautiful and incredibly sweet! It’s not that I wouldn’t, I mean, I’m _flattered_ , honestly, _but_ I think we both have someone out there who really loves us,” Jisoo said, splaying her hands out as she went on. “Neither of us are in the right kind of mindset to do this.” Sana hung her head and nodded, silently agreeing with Jisoo’s words. “I’m sorry,” the Japanese girl said after a while, her voice soft.

“I-I didn’t mean to be so forward. You’re right...it’s probably best if we didn’t. I’ve definitely had too much to drink tonight.” She covered her face with her hands and sighed, rubbing at her cheeks. “I’m so embarrassed now,” she admitted, laughing softly. “I hope you don’t think I’m the kind to...you know…,” she trailed off, looking back up the hallway at the party.

Jisoo shook her head vigorously. “I know you’re not. We’re both in some pretty tough spots at the moment, so I get it,” she said, reaching out to hold Sana’s hand. Running her thumb comfortingly over the back of Sana’s hand, Jisoo smiled at her.

“You know...if you want, we can go out for coffee or something next week, after class? I’d still like to catch up if you do, too,” Jisoo said, her voice tinged with hope. “I don’t know how you’ve been holding up, but I’ve been holed up in my apartment like some kind of hermit for the past couple weeks and I’m ready to break out of my shell.”

Sana squeezed Jisoo’s hands and laughed, “I’d love that. Lemme get your number and I’ll text you when I’m free.” She let go of Jisoo’s hand to look for her phone and promptly punched in Jisoo’s digits. As soon as she’d finished, Sana’s phone lit up with a notification. Blankly, the Japanese girl stared at the screen for a moment before blushing again.

She flashed the screen at Jisoo: a message from Jihyo. “Well,” Sana said, unable to hide the smile that threatened to spread across her face, “I think that’s my cue to get back home.” Grinning in agreement, Jisoo took her hand and led them back out to the kitchen. “I’m sorry again,” Sana said as she disappeared into a crowd of people. “That’s alright, no need to apologize. Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Jisoo replied, leaning against the countertop.

“I’ll shoot you a text when I get home!” Sana called over her shoulder, waving her phone in the air. “I’m looking forward to coffee next week!” Jisoo waved back cheerfully as the other girl easily slipped through the party goers and around another corner, out of view. Sighing, Jisoo glanced around for the time and figured it was best if she started to head home, too.

By now, Lisa and Chaeyoung had either given up searching for her, or they’d gone home themselves. Dragging her feet, Jisoo pushed herself off of the countertop and began trudging towards the general direction of the front door. As she turned the corner, she pushed passed a couple people talking in the middle of the way. Jisoo glanced at them briefly, a group of three girls, but it wasn’t the sight of them that tipped her off.

In fact, Jisoo had nearly kept going, not even giving them a second look. But the familiar scent of Chanel perfume chased after her right before she reached the front door, stopping her dead in her tracks. Jennie was the first thing that popped into her head. When she retraced her steps, the three girls had vanished, eaten up by the troves of partying college kids romping about the mansion.

Biting her lip, Jisoo turned on her heel, heading back to the front door again. As she went, she wracked her brain to remember what the girls had looked like. Had there a brunette amongst them? Was that really Jennie’s perfume? It’d been a long night, and Jisoo was starting to feel the aftermath of everything weighing down on her again.

Regardless of whether or not it was merely her imagination, Jisoo wanted to remain rooted in her determination to forget the younger girl. She’d be going back to school the following week, and she wanted to start the year off with as clean a slate she possibly could. With one last sigh, she made her way out of Key’s house and burst out into the summer air.

If she didn’t get a text from Jennie by the time classes picked up, she’d forget about her for good. A little way down the street, Jisoo flagged down a cab. She sat quietly in the backseat, rocking along with the bumps of the road. She pondered over everything that transpired that night to the gentle hum of the car radio.

It was obvious to her that time would be her best friend, slowly helping Jisoo get over Jennie. The hardest part of it all would be accepting the fact Jennie didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. There was no denying that a large part of Jisoo’s heart still belonged to the younger girl. It yearned for an explanation long overdue, but time would coax it into submission.

At least, Jisoo hoped it would. The cab came to a halt outside of her apartment complex faster than Jisoo thought and she hastily thanked the cab driver. Once she’d pushed a tip into his outstretched hand and climbed up to her apartment, Jisoo’s eyelids began to droop. A good night’s rest would help her make more sense of things, she told herself.

Her head had begun to pound with all the thinking she’d done during the drive and it took every ounce of her will to change into her pajamas and take off her makeup before diving beneath the covers of her bed. As her eyelashes fluttered shut, she dreamed of the three girls from the party. Jisoo stood nearby, looking over at them.

She didn’t recognize either of the two girls who were facing her. They both had long black locks and pretty, pale faces. The third girl had her back to Jisoo and seemed to be talking animatedly about something. Her curiosity burning, Jisoo began making her way over to them, snaking her way through faceless party goers.

As she approached, she reached a hand out to tap at the girl’s shoulder. But right before the girl turned and revealed her identity, the dream faded into darkness. Perhaps she’d only dreamt she’d smelled Jennie’s perfume.

 

 

 


End file.
